The Last Thing I Wanted
by nails233
Summary: With just weeks before the wedding, Bella and Edward's lives will be forever altered by one unwanted event. Can witnessing one thing really ruin the lives of so many? Or will they make a new family of 4 sharing their love? Rated M for 18
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, just a twisted mind. You have been warned this is a slash and poly story. If you not like those kind of stories, its fine, push the red button in the upper right corner and I promise it will go away.**

**Many thanks to my co-horts Holloweenlover, Dazzleglo, and busymommy**

**The Last Thing I Wanted**

**Chapter 1**

**Edward's POV**

Alice and Bella had gone shopping in Seattle for the day. Carlisle was working at the hospital. Everyone else had left to go hunting, leaving Jasper and me home alone.

I couldn't explain to anyone - except for Jasper - what had been transpiring between us for years. He understood, since he felt the same way. Jasper and I had always looked like we were the least closest in the family. However, that was the furthest thing from the truth. There was no way Alice didn't know. Between her visions and my scent lingering all over Jazz's firm, yet supple flesh, she had to know.

The first time it happened blew my mind. I had never had the urge to have sex with anyone before. Nonetheless, on a solo hunting trip with Jasper, I found myself aroused as I watched him take down and feed from a mountain lion. The urge was so strong I grabbed myself through my jeans and palmed my first ever erection. I didn't even realize, until I felt my hand grabbing my cock, that I had shoved down my pants desperate for more. When I looked up, Jasper was grinning at me. Before I could pull my hand free he was next to me urging me on.

"Undo your pants, I want to see how hard I made you," he purred with hooded eyes.

"I…um…didn't…" I stuttered, trying to find a reason behind my behavior.

"Yes, you did. Pull it out and I'll show you how it's done." He licked my earlobe, sucking it into his mouth.

I shivered at the sensation I was feeling. Throwing my head back, I did what he wanted. It felt freeing to have my cock out in the open. It surprised me when he did the same. Just hearing his zipper pull down had me shivering with anticipation. Taking his rod in hand, he stroked it showing me what to do. A sigh slipped through my parted lips. It felt so good massaging the massive, rock hard flesh in my hand. Pushing his hips closer, he rubbed the tip of his shaft against mine. I shuddered at the erotic gesture. I wanted more, so much more. When he grabbed both our cocks together and stroked them as one, I thought I would lose myself in the sensation. I wanted to get lost in it, never letting it end.

Dragging his nails down my back had me purring to him. Pulling him closer, I buried my face in the crook of his neck. Feeling his firm chest heaving against mine was beyond fantastic. He rubbed his pebbled nipples against mine, purely by accident, but I craved more.

Writhing together, "Jasper," I panted into his shoulder.

"Me, too," he snarled, nipping at my neck.

The faster he moved, the tighter the coil in my stomach wound up. When he locked my lips between his for the first time, something snapped inside. Together, we spilled out in spurts, coating his hand and our cocks with our venom. Without stopping, he moved faster than any human could comprehend, dragging me to my next climax. Before I could step back, he increased his thrusting. Bucking into his touch, he brought us to a third release before my knees wobbled and buckled under me.

Slumping down against the nearest tree, I panted through my blissful state. Looking over, Jasper was still watching me. I knew he wanted more, but he was deliberately not thinking about it. Before I could ask him what, he jumped me, flipping me over. With one hand he held my face against the forest floor, parting my cheeks. At first I struggled, even though I wanted him to take me. His first intrusion was with his fingers, using the venom from our jerking off to coat me. My hips jerked against his hand telling him how much I was enjoying it. He knew what he was doing. Each pumping of his fingers was done to excite me, not hurt me.

"Please fuck me," I whined.

"Since you said please, how can I say no?" he breathed into my ear.

Smearing the rest of our cum on my ass, he buried himself inside me in one fluid thrust. I screamed out, taken over by an even mix of pain and pleasure. After a few thrusts and grinds against me, I began moving with him, seeking out more. As the pain ebbed, pleasure swelled inside me. His throbbing member was the only thing I could think about. Grabbing my hips, he pushed in harder and faster. A thrill shot through me when he snarled out and shot his warm, venom deep inside me.

He pulled out and flipped me again, licking his lips as his eyes raked my body. I so wanted that tongue to stroke my cock. I wanted to feel my shaft moving in his mouth. Jasper didn't disappoint me. As he wrapped his soft, sensual lips around me, my hips bucked to meet him. Twisting my hands in his hair, I controlled the pace. My mind fogged over when he started swirling his smooth tongue around my tip.

"Oh, fuck," I growled.

Pushing in deeper, I could feel the back of his throat tighten around me. My hips rocked, needing another climax. When he swallowed against my tip it was over and I spilled my venom down his throat. It was singularly the most erotic thing I had ever felt.

Just remembering the first time had my cock throbbing to be out of its confines. "Edward?" I peeked up from the newspaper that I was using to cover my ogling eyes.

"Jasper?" I played coy, smiling my half crooked grin, knowing he could feel the waves of lust rolling off me.

"I need you," he flashed to my side. "I want you. Now," he begged, running his nose along my neck.

Grasping my shoulders, he pulled me from my seat and flung me against the wall. "I want you, too," I snarled, ready for him.

Without thought, our hands roamed freely over each other's clothes, seeking out silky flesh where we could find it. With each pass, our hands grew more desperate. Groping and growling, we fumbled with each other's clothes as we tripped up the stairs. I hated that we couldn't just rip them off. There would be no explaining that one away. Everyone would know.

I couldn't resist the desire to kiss him anymore. Hungrily, I attacked his lips with my own. A snarl ripped from his chest as I devoured his tongue. I dominated his mouth forcing my will upon him. My tongue swirled around his mouth, pulling at his tongue, his taste lingering on my lips.

Pushing me hard against the wall, he bit down on my shoulder, breaking open the flesh, marking me. My answering growl had nothing to do with warning him off, and everything to do with wanting more. Licking the wound shut, his ministrations were driving me further into insanity.

Our nimble fingers made quick work of belts and zippers. With one shove, our pants and boxers slipped to the floor, leaving us both free to grind against each other. Pulling each other's shirts off, we staggered, our pants around our ankles. I loved feeling his molded chest against mine. He didn't fight me when I slipped my hands into his hair and tugged hard. Accosting his neck, I nipped and sucked my way back to his lips for another kiss.

Grabbing my manhood in his hands, he led me to my bed without breaking our passionate kiss. Before Bella we used my lounge., but the new bed in my room allowed for greater freedom. Pausing for only a second, we stripped out of the remains of our clothing.

This was only the second time, since Bella came into our world, that Jasper and I had been together. While we both loved our mates with every fiber of our beings, there was an undeniable attraction between us. We'd tried for years to resist, failing miserably. We loved each other. It was different from the love we had for our mates, but it was there. We would die for each other as quickly as we would for them.

The moment I hit the mattress, I reached out and grabbed his hardness in my hand. I stroked him with a firm grip, drawing his body closer. With a groan slipping from my lips, I pushed my hips against his palm. I needed more. He swatted my hand away, flipping me on my stomach, moving behind me, over me.

I was out of my mind with desire when he slipped his fingers into me, pumping, twisting, stretching. Reaching around, he grasped my shaft with his other hand. I thrust back against his hand. Meeting my rhythm, he stroked, making me incredibly harder. His name rambled off my lips like a prayer. "Jasper, please?" I gasped, shamelessly begging for more.

The loss of his fingers was replaced by the reward of his rod teasing my entrance. The urgent growl erupting from his chest when he finally pushed into me was sweet music to my ears. Feeling him throb inside me had me aching for my release.

"Fuck, Edward, your ass is so tight!" he snarled, pushing my legs further apart to plunge deeper, picking up his pace.

His hand fisted my erection, my body tightening under it. I couldn't fight it anymore. There was no way I would last. I needed to cum. Now.

"I'm so close," Jasper snarled, thrusting harder, pushing me over the edge.

"I – can't – stop," I bellowed, spilling my venom onto his hand.

With two more hard thrusts he filled me leaving us both panting and gasping for unneeded air, his body covering mine.

"Edward!" Bella's sharp intake snapped me out of my blissful haze.

"Bella, I can explain," I said, as I struggled out from under Jasper. But she was gone.

Alice still remained frozen where Bella had once stood. Jasper pulled out and I quickly threw my clothes on. With one last look at Jasper, who was trying to talk to Alice as she stalked away from my room, I ran after Bella.

"Bella, stop!" I demanded.

" Don't. EVER. Talk. To. Me. Again," she sobbed, running for her truck.

"Wait! Let me explain!" When she spun around, I foolishly hoped she would listen to me.

"Explain what? That the whole reason you wouldn't have sex with me was because you really wanted Jasper? And to think I was willing to give you everything and anything from day one. Get away from me!" she screeched, swatting my hands away when I tried to grasp her.

"It's not like that! Bella, I love you," I vowed , my pleas falling on deaf ears.

"No, you don't. It's over, here's your ring back. Don't try to call, come see me, or write. Just stay away." She shoved my mother's ring in my hand and spun away, climbing into her truck.

"Oh, and some food for thought, I would have blown your mind every day of eternity, I've wanted you so much, as much as I've wanted, Alice, too, but I was willing to wait " And with that parting shot, she backed out of the driveway.

Hanging my head, I stumbled back toward the house. I could have grabbed her, but I wouldn't risk hurting her if I used too much pressure in my frantic state. Dropping to my knees, I gave myself over to misery. I had lost the only thing I loved more than myself and Jasper. Bella.

I heard Jasper and Alice fighting over what she and Bella had seen. It was one thing to be able to ignore it when her visions are so flexible, but it was entirely different to see the truth with her own eyes. The shouting stopped the minute Alice was hit by her next vision. It was a vision that would end my existence.

I watched, as Alice saw Bella, blinded by tears, ram her truck into the guardrail on a stretch of highway that ended at the cliffs of La Push. Bella shrieked as the truck went over the cliff, her fragile body encased inside tons of crushing metal.

Alice's screams shook the house as we realized we would be too late, even if we broke the treaty. It was done. I had been a fool and it had cost me everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, just a twisted mind. You have been warned this is a slash and poly story. If you not like those kind of stories, its fine, push the red button in the upper right corner and I promise it will go away.**

**Many thanks to my co-horts Holloweenlover, Dazzleglo, and busymommy**

**The Last Thing I Wanted**

**Chapter 2**

**Bella's POV**

Driving away as fast as I could, I headed for La Push, and Jake. Jake would make the pain go away, he always did. Jake never made his feeling for me a secret, I just couldn't reciprocate them.

Seeing Edward intertwined so intimately with Jasper was probably the worst thing I had ever witnessed. Besides the harsh reality that he didn't want me, he wanted a man instead, crushed me worse than when he left. He should have stayed gone. It was apparent he only used his relationship with me to cover his true feelings for Jasper. I was his beard. My body racked with painful sobs as I raced down the tree lined road.

With tears streaming down my cheeks and the pain of losing him again fresh in my thoughts, I tore down the dark curves of the roadway. I needed to get away from them, all of them. Each mile marker I passed tore deeper into my soul. This was a hurt that would never heal.

Even Alice's soft and gentle touches couldn't push this pain away. Not that she could offer any; she was in the same boat I was. Jasper had betrayed her too.

Her touches were what helped ease the pain when she arrived back before the rest of the Cullen's. They got me through the race to Italy to rescue Edward. I've never told her, but I liked them way more than I should have.

Screaming out in frustration, I barreled down the pitch-black tar. I was almost home free, almost to a place where they couldn't see or reach me; I was almost at La Push. Releasing a shaky breath, I banked the curve overlooking the cliffs. Using my sleeve to wipe away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks, I looked up just in time to see the guardrail.

My truck violently slammed into it, sending me flying into the windshield before everything went black.

**Jasper's POV**

When Edward flew out of the room, Alice stomped off too, leaving me to dress and follow her. At first, Bella and Edward's feelings of loss were all I could feel. The further he moved away, chasing Bella, the more I could feel everything Alice was going through. It was beyond hurt, embarrassment, and betrayal. When she let loose, I cringed in fear of losing my beloved.

"How could you? I thought you loved me! For years, I have been waiting for you to include me. Just once for you to ask me to be with the two of you. But now, I see the truth. You don't want me there. You can have him, too, but I can't? What the hell Jasper? Do you know how hard it has been not to take Bella in my arms and tell her I love her like I love you?" she seethed.

"I love you, both. It has only been a handful of times. I didn't know you wanted to be a part of us. And I sure in hell didn't know you wanted Bella to join us." I shrugged, not knowing if it would appease her.

Yes, I love Edward in a way that wasn't traditional. But it would never stop the undying, true love I felt for Alice. Alice is my life, and so is Edward. If she wanted more, then I could give her that. I didn't know Bella very well since I always kept my distance, but there had to be more to her if they both love her, right? I'm sure I could grow to love Bella the way I love Alice and Edward, but would they want us?

"How long, Jasper?" she demanded.

"It was five years after we found them. We went hunting one night and neither of us could stop it." Closing my eyes, I waited for her to hit me.

When the blow never came I opened them again to see her clutching her chest. The fear and panic were rolling off her in heavy waves. Whatever vision she was stuck in wasn't good. Grabbing her in my arms, I lowered her to the floor to let it pass.

"BELLA!" her ear piercing scream rocked the house.

"Alice, what did you see?" I stroked her hair trying to soothe her.

"Bella just drove off the cliffs near La Push." Her fragile body trembled against me.

"We'll stop her. We won't let her go!" I gasped.

"It's too late, it's already done. Her future is black," she sobbed, clutching my shirt.

I had to ask, "Edward?" I couldn't feel him anymore.

"He just ran off. He's not coming back," she whimpered.

"Snap out of it, Alice! We need to bring Edward home. He won't survive life without Bella," I snarled.

"You mean we won't survive without him," she whispered with fear in her eyes.

"I couldn't survive without both of you. We can't let him die. If you want us both fine, but we can't let him wander around as a hollow shell all alone again."

Blowing out a heavy breath, she nodded, "I make no promises of what the future holds for us. I won't crush the family, especially Esme, but at the very least we need to try to bring him home."

Together we took off heading north following his scent trail.

**Alice's POV**

Following Jasper, we headed out looking for Edward. We didn't talk about what had happened. I wasn't sure what we could say.

Yes, I had seen the visions of them together through the decades. However, I was a little shocked that it started so soon after we arrived. I must have been away shopping the first few times that it slipped my notice. Although, when I did realize, he couldn't hide Edward's scent all over him after it had happened. At first I thought they were just wrestling until I smelled Edward in place he never should have touched.

For years I waited, hoping they would include me. They never did. They acted like it never happened. I knew I cared more for Edward than a brother, and I had hoped Jasper would pick up on it, but he never did. I couldn't help loving both of them, I just did.

I tried to not to search for Bella's future, but I couldn't stop. It hadn't changed it was black as night. The last memory I would have of her would be her being mangled by that beast of a truck. It would forever be etched in my mind and heart. I should have told her my touches meant more than just friends. Maybe if she knew I loved her in a way reserved for mates, maybe she would still be here with us. Would of, Should of, Could of thinking was not going to help or change things. I needed to focus on Edward and getting him back.

Pulling out my phone, I called Carlisle, "Carlisle," I gasped for air. Not that I needed to breathe, but my chest was constricting in pain. "Bella drove off the cliffs near La Push. Edward and Bella had a fight. He blames himself and now we are trying to find him," I rambled.

"I'll go see what's going on. I'll call you when I know more," he rattled off quickly.

"Edward watched her die as I did. It was too late to stop her."

"I'm still going, Alice. Your visions are never perfect. Things change." He snapped his phone shut.

It was getting harder for Jasper to keep up with Edward's scent by the time we hit Canada. However, there was no way we wouldn't stop trying to catch up to him. At first it looked like he was heading for Denali. However, a last minute shift in directions dashed our hopes that he was headed there. The only thing I could see when I searched his future was white. That's it, a sea of white. No nothing!

When my phone went off I was surprised. "Alice, come home. We'll find Edward as a family, but first, you need to be here." When he hung up on me, I started growling. His future was black as well. That meant one thing.

Wolves!

**Edward's POV**

With the vision of Bella's death replaying in my mind, I ran. I didn't need to wait around to hear the words. There was no way she survived the crushing of her chest against the steering wheel. The sound of her skull slamming against the windshield was all my ears could hear and would continually hear for all eternity.

I had done that to her. It was my fault she died. I had ruined everyone's lives in one single moment of weakness. Why couldn't I stop loving Jasper?

When I met Bella, I thought my love for him would diminish, but it didn't. In one moment, I lost Bella, Jasper, and Alice. Because of my mistake, we all lost the one's we love.

I wasn't running to free myself. I was running to free my family of having to look at me in their grief. Alice wouldn't be able to see me without thinking of Bella; she lost her best and only friend. Emmett would be depressed that he lost his clumsy little sister. Having a sad Emmett was horrifying at best and I couldn't put Jasper through that kind of pain. Rose was just starting to come around, but when she found out who knows what would happen and I didn't want the family to have to take sides. Esme and Carlisle would see the daughter they loved in my face. I just wanted to find a hole, curl up, and die in it. If only it was that easy.

Visions of Bella danced in my memory, torturing me for my stupidity. I would never see her beautiful face, melted chocolate pools, and her gleaming smile. Those memories would be the only thing I had left of her.

I knew Charlie and Carlisle would see to her, but I couldn't see her broken body. The vision was enough to make me want to be sick. Sick didn't even cover it. I wanted to tear my own eyes out so I wouldn't have to see them again. Being a vampire made forgetting every detail, blood spatter, and cracking bone impossible.

I ran for hours with no destination in mind. I didn't want Alice to see where I went. The terrain changed as I crossed in and out of the United States. Needing to be as far from people as possible; I was heading to the Arctic Circle. There, I would never have to think about the perfection I had let slip away.

Dropping to my knees in the snow, I screamed out, "Bella!"

It sounded more like a wounded bear than a human as it rippled out of my chest and reverberated back at me. Falling face first, I collapsed into the snow. I didn't want to see the days passing nor the aurora borealis' beauty. I wasn't worthy to gaze upon it. I wanted to be dead, not there without the ones I loved.

**Carlisle's POV**

Alice's call came at the same moment the hospital received a call from the P.D. They wanted an ambulance at the scene of a crash. I knew it had to be one in the same. I, of course, immediately volunteered to ride along hoping I would be able to help Bella. What we found was far worse than what I ever expected to see.

When I arrived, the tow truck was just hauling Bella's truck up over the guardrail. The sea rushed out and left the truck empty. Charlie screamed out in agony as his deputies caught him when his legs buckled out from under him.

Just when I was about to approach him I caught the scent of Sam. He was running in hard and fast from the south. He stopped just before exiting the trees and waited.

While Charlie's deputies led him to his cruiser I slipped into the woods and found Sam in wolf form. Clutched in his teeth was Bella's favorite gray hoodie.

"Where is she?" I growled.

Nudging his head towards La Push I raced off following his scent trail. Boundary line be damned, I didn't stop until I reached his house. Emily didn't seem the least bit surprised when I suddenly stopped in front of her.

"Dr. Cullen, I have never seen anything this bad." Her body shuddered as she sobbed.

Rushing in, I was slammed with the overpowering smell of her blood. If it wasn't for Jacob clutching her broken form, I would have never of known it was Bella.

"Save her Doc. I love her. I don't care if she'll be a leech. I'll take her any way I can get her.

"Saving her won't change her feelings for Edward. You understand that don't you?"

"I don't care! Save her!" Nodding, I moved in closer.

"All I can do is try, I can't guarantee anything. I've never turned anyone in this condition. She is far worse than Esme and Emmett. Alice doesn't see Bella coming back."

"Try, Doc. You have permission from both of us," Sam gruffly spoke.

"Jacob, you need to move. This is going to be hard enough without us fighting our urges to kill each other." He nodded, moving out from under her.

It wasn't hard to figure out where to start, Bella was a mangled mess. Her bones were not broken, they were shattered. Her skull was misshaped from the impact on the windshield. How she was still breathing I'll never know.

Leaning in, I prayed if she survived she wouldn't hate me like Rosalie had for so many years until she found Emmett.

**A/N I know you hate me for stopping here. But in the name of flow I needed to keep the next chapter in one piece. So feel free to review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't own Twilight. But, I do own Mocked by Destiny. Just playing with other people's toys.**

**Thanks to Halloweenlover for pre-reading, thanks to busymommy for beta'ing and merci Dazzle for giving it the final once over! Without you guys I would be lost!**

**The Last Thing I Wanted**

**Chapter 3**

**Jasper's POV**

After the cryptic call from Carlisle, we rushed home. From Alice's lack of visions, we deduced that he was still with the wolves. When Esme saw our faces, she knew the worst had occurred.

"What happened?" she sneered.

"Bella and I caught Jasper and Edward fucking. Bella ran off. Before we could stop her, she drove off the cliffs of La Push," Alice sighed.

Rose hissed and snarled. If it wasn't for Emmett grabbing her in mid-launch, she would have torn me apart. "How could you do that to her?"

"Jasper, I don't understand?" Esme was shaking her head trying to fathom it.

"I love him and Alice, just as Edward loves me and Bella. Turns out Alice had had the same feelings for Bella." I shrugged.

"Where is he?" Esme worried, I felt the anxiety in her swelling immensely.

"We lost him in Alaska. All I see is white when I look for his future," Alice huffed in frustration.

"We'll find him. Carlisle will make him see he belongs home with us." I'm not sure who Esme was trying to convince. We failed last time he thought he'd lost Bella to death.

"Have you heard from him?" I inquired.

"No, not since he went to the scene of the accident. Does he know what happened?"

"No, Esme. He has no clue. We only had enough time to tell him they fought," Alice explained.

Rose continued to struggle in Emmett's arms as she crumbled, whimpering at the loss of Bella. Esme's eyes filled with unshedable tears. Heaving a heavy sob, Alice spun and buried her face in my chest while she shook. It wasn't all the emotions running ramped in the room that finally cracked my cool exterior. On the contrary, the thought of never seeing Edward again did that all by itself.

A sharp gasp from Alice warned me she was having a vision. "What is it Alice?" I crooned.

"Carlisle's car is still at the scene of the accident. If it stays there, Charlie will come to search him out."

"Fine, I'll go get it and bring it home for him." I needed a few minutes alone, and it was the perfect excuse.

Hanging my head, I released Alice and headed to the last place I wanted to be. If Edward and I had controlled ourselves none of this would have happened. Edward and Bella would be here preparing for their wedding, and the family would've never known what happened. Flying through the trees, I remembered every moment I'd spent with Edward and Bella. I came to a screeching halt; there was no denying the scent of the dogs. Carlisle and Sam had both been here

Surveying the accident scene, I saw my chance to sneak in and grab the car without being noticed. No one noticed me as I strolled up to the Mercedes. Slipping in, I waited until the tow truck was pulling Bella's truck up onto the bed before I turned it on and backed away. Once I was far enough away, I pulled a 180 and headed for the house.

The solace of the car was corrupted by the sounds of the CD Edward had made for Carlisle's 365th birthday. Hearing his magical notes trickling out of the speakers was more than I could stand, and I screamed out.

"Edward! No! I need you." The pain rippled through my chest.

By the time I reached the house, I'd somewhat managed to compose myself. That's when things got crazy. I stepped out to see everyone was in the yard and their confused emotions had me overwhelmed. What the hell was going on?

"Carlisle called. He said thank you for bringing the car home and he'd see us in three days. He didn't explain and asked us not to go looking for him," Alice rattled.

"What the hell? I smelled him with Sam at the scene. Did Sam hurt him?" My anger was getting the better of me, and I knew it.

"We don't know. She can't see his future, so we don't know anything." The anxiety rolling off Emmett was staggering.

Spinning around, I took off towards the trees. I needed to be away from this mess. And, as much as I wanted to be, my feet had other ideas. Before I knew it, I was back in the spot where I'd smelled Sam and Carlisle earlier. Even with the rain slightly falling, I could follow their scents. I slammed on the brakes at the border. Sam had taken him into La Push. Why?

At a speed that would please Edward, I raced back and forth. A vampire's version of pacing, I guess. When you lose so much at one time, something in you breaks. I didn't want my family to see how broken I was. And, as much as I loved Alice, there would be no replacing Edward. Edward wouldn't be able to get past losing Bella, and neither would Alice. I saw the sun set and rise again; still I paced the line hoping to catch Carlisle's scent when he came out.

With each passing minute, I sunk deeper into despair. Remembering every touch, glance and whisper that Edward had made to me dropped me to my knees. Clawing the earth on the boundary line, I growled and snarled, wishing I could bury myself alive and suffer silently.

Two more days passed and still no sign of him. My control to stay off the wolves' territory was slipping. That's when the wind shifted and I smelled it. It was the thing that would right everyone's worlds - Bella. Shaking my head, I sniffed again. It was her scent, but different. The sounds and smells of the Pack chasing her had my feet charging across the line in full protection mode. If it was Bella, I needed to protect her from the Pack until Edward could be found.

My flying feet grazed over the terrain effortlessly. I could hear her charging away, so I followed her closely. I slammed to a stop a few feet from her. Then I understood why I was feeling anger, fear, and confusion rolling off her. Carlisle had changed her. It explained why he was gone for three days. However, why he didn't tell us about her was a mystery.

With her crimson eyes locked on my golden ones, she threw herself against a tree, hissing, snarling, and snapping. "Easy there, Bella? I know you're pissed, but I can explain…"

"It won't help Jasper." Spinning, I looked at Carlisle confused.

"She doesn't seem to remember us or the Pack. She recognized my scent, but not me." He crossed his arms across his chest.

Bella had stopped snapping thanks to the emergence of the wolves. "They were helping me with her change," Carlisle explained, "I didn't tell you about it because we weren't sure if it would work. She was beyond anybody I had ever turned, even worse than Esme and Emmett."

Before I could respond, Bella shot off, headed for the line. She was oozing desperation. She was hunting something. We all scrambled to follow her. I almost had her twice, but she slipped away. Jacob almost had his teeth on her, again she dodged him. It dawned on me where she was going. Turns out I was right.

Bella rammed through the front door, never stopping until she reached the third floor and entered Edward's room. She left behind her a wake of destruction and a lot of confused people. When I stopped at the doorway, she started growling again, only this time she cuddled Edward's pillow to her chest like she was defending what was hers. Sniffing the air, she whimpered. No doubt smelling the same thing I did. His scent was old and mixed with mine.

"Bella, is it really you?" Bella snapped her teeth at Alice.

"Alice, Bella needs a little room. It would seem she doesn't remember anything." Carlisle walked in behind us.

"Then why is she clutching Edward's pillow?"

"Edward?" She cocked her head to the side in question.

"Yes, your fiancé, our brother? Ring any bells?" Emmett laughed.

Her emotions spiked, "No, just his smell," she sneered.

Bella stuck her nose in the air and pulled in a deep breath. Another whimper slipped from her. Her emotions whiplashed again, now she was smothering in angst. She may not remember Edward, but she craved his scent.

I've seen the posture, fear, and uncertainty so many times over the years, but from Bella, it was breaking my heart. She was so lost. It was like looking at a small child who'd lost their parents in a crowd.

"Bella, the Pack wants to know where you're going to be staying. Do you want to go back with the wolves?"

"No!" she snapped, cowering away.

"Do you want to stay here with Edward's scent?" I coaxed and sent a wave of serenity her way.

"It's not pure anymore," she whimpered, crumbling to the floor.

Dropping to my knees, I crawled to her with my head hung submissively, "I'll help you find something purely him."

"I can't remember him. Why not?" She sobbed as I wrapped my arms around her waist.

She clutched onto my shirt, fisting it in her hands, she held on for dear life. Closing my eyes, I reveled in the feel of her body pressed against mine. I would make things right for her, for Edward, and for Alice and myself. Moving one hand to her head, I slipped my fingers into her soft, mahogany hair and crushed her head to my chest.

"I'll protect you, and together, we'll find a way for you to remember him until he comes home. Know this, darlin', we will bring him home."

"Why did he leave?"

Bella peeked over my shoulder when she heard everyone leaving. They knew they would still hear her, but they wanted to give her some privacy.

"Bella, he thought you died. You don't remember this, but some of us have unique qualities. I for one can feel what everyone is feeling in this house, Alice can see our futures, and Edward can read minds. In Alice and Edward's cases when they combine, it can be lethal. Edward saw you die in Alice's vision. He blamed himself because you two fought before you left. The fight was my fault." Her sniffing my neck stopped my speech dead in its tracks.

Lowering her head, she sniffed down my shirt until her nose was directly over my zipper. Rubbing her nose there had me suppressing a groan. That ended quickly when she started growling at my clothed cock.

"He's yours?" her eyes looked up black as night.

"No, he's ours…shit, I don't even know where to begin or how to explain this," taking a deep breath, I continued, "He loves you with all his heart, but he loves me too. I love Alice with all my heart, but I love Edward too. And, Alice love's us all."

Frustrated, I tugged my hair with one hand. Having this conversation with a newborn was probably not a good idea.

"I'm thirsty," she croaked, clutching her throat.

"I'll take you out." I leapt to my feet and extended her a hand hoping she would take it.

For a moment, she didn't seem to know what she wanted to do, but in the end she accepted my hand. Together we walked outside with our hands still intertwined. No one was in the house and their scents all led out to the trees. My guess was they went ahead to cover our territory. The last thing we needed was Bella slipping with possibly someone she knew.

Pulling her into my arms, I directed her attention to my face. "What did they tell you to do?"

Cocking her head to the side, she seemed confused, but shook her head and answered, "Close my eyes, let my nose lead me, and follow my instincts."

"Then do it, I'll be right behind you. I won't take your kill. You don't have to worry about that. Now go!" I slapped her ass hard and she shot off.

I laughed, and darted off behind her. Bella looked incredibly graceful as she rushed through the forest in search of the elixir that would soothe her parched throat. Taking a newborn on a hunt required a certain skill. You needed to be able intersect them at a moment's notice. Otherwise they could devour an entire town in a few short days.

Bella locked her senses on a black bear and within seconds was on the 500 pound fur ball. It never had a chance when Bella wrapped her arms around its center and crushed it. Typical newborn maneuver, but effective nonetheless. Shame Emmett missed this, he would have gotten a kick out of it. Releasing an ear shattering growl she sunk her teeth in and tore open its neck. Keeping my distance, I watched as she savagely attacked the beast. By the time she dropped the carcass her face was covered in the residue. Bella's eyes widened and she searched out something, her nostrils flaring.

I smelled the same thing Bella did, it wasn't good. What the hell were humans doing on our land? Pushing harder I caught up just as she was about to pounce. Before she could move, I had her on the ground, thrashing and snarling. Alice flew up and helped me pin her down. Bella didn't take kindly to us physically restraining her and bit down on my arm. I winced, but didn't move.

The sounds of the family rushing to get them away from the unknown threat surrounded us. Bella released her hold on my arm and started skimming her nose along my throat. I let her continue, anything to keep her distracted, and honestly, it was driving my desire up to new bounds. There was no feeling of jealousy coming from Alice, just love and desire.

In one swift sweep, I pulled Bella from the dirt, and planted her back against a nearby tree. She grunted, but held still. Pulling Alice in closer, my arms kept Bella securely pinned to the tree. At first she tried to wiggle out, and if she'd realized she was stronger than I was, she would have. I knew an introduction was in order.

"Bella, I told you about Alice, and how she loves me, you, and Edward." Bella's head fell back against the tree as she inhaled deeply.

When she licked her lips, I smiled, knowing she smelled our arousal in the air. I put my hand on the small of Alice's back and nudged her to stand flush against Bella's heaving chest.

"Welcome back, Bella," Alice purred, leaning in, she snaked her tongue out and licked the bear's blood off Bella's cheek.

I never envisioned sharing my wife and mate with anyone, but seeing her licking Bella's face had me hardening in my jeans. Damn, I'd never seen anything so beautiful. Slowly, Bella closed her eyes and turned her lips to meet Alice's. I was amazed at the softness in their exchange. Alice moaned into Bella's mouth when Bella parted her lips. Nuzzling Alice's neck, I encouraged her to continue.

Bella's crimson eyes shot open and locked on me. I could feel the lust rolling off of them. I groaned and rubbed my shaft between their connected thighs. A shudder rippled through my body, feeling them encasing me.

An adorable purr rattled out of Bella's chest when I shifted and started nibbling on her neck. Licking her, I started to remove more of the beast's blood from her neck and cheek. Alice lifted her hand to Bella's right breast and gave it a light squeeze. Bella arched her back into Alice's touch.

"We'll never let anything happen to you darlin'. That's what being a family means," I cooed, grasping her other breast in my hand.

"You want me? But, not Edward, he doesn't want me." She was getting scared and confused again.

"Yes, we both want you and Edward wants you more than you will ever know. He wants to spend an eternity with you," Alice gushed.

Dropping her arms to her sides, she reached out and fumbled with the buttons to our jeans. When they didn't cooperate she opted for tearing them open. Alice didn't mind in the least, and in fact, returned the favor of ripping Bella's clear off her firm form.

The sight of seeing her standing before us naked and stunning had me grinding against their legs again. Together, Alice and I leaned down and captured her nipples in our mouths. The simultaneous stimulation had Bella reaching into our hair and tugging us closer. Her peaks pebbled and swelled as we continued our ministrations on them. With my hand now free, I searched out Alice's perky breasts as well. This would be their first time together and I wanted to ensure they both received the greatest benefits of it.

Impatiently Bella sliced Alice's shirt open and sighed at the beauty before her. Alice repaid her by kissing her way back up to Bella's lips and this time when she kissed her, she ramped up the desperation. Bella broke off the kiss with a mewl when Alice ghosted her fingers down her stomach to the tiny curls below.

Guilt shot through me as I thought about how much Edward had wanted to see them, to touch them. My brow furrowed when I remembered the talks about what he needed to do for the honeymoon. He wanted it be a perfect night of firsts for them, and here we were taking what he wanted.

I knew then I had to stop what we were doing. We couldn't do that to him, to them. We needed to find Edward and remind Bella that she belonged to Edward first and foremost. We were secondary and our needs would have to wait. There was no way we would make love to Bella before Edward. He'd been saving that part of himself for her. Never, in the times we were together, did he make love to me. I wouldn't take that from him. I could never be that selfish. Alice gasped and sighed, no doubt seeing what I was going to say.

Bella snapped at the air between us when we dislodged our hands. "Come on, Bella. It's too much too soon," Alice softly cooed.

I took my shirt off and slipped it on Bella buttoning it up. I didn't want her to become upset over being naked when she sees the family. She always embarrassed easily as a human and you can never know how much of that might have followed into this life.

Alice and I each grabbed one of her hands. "Bella, let's go home."

"Home. I have a home."

**A/N yeah I need to hear from you…how do you like feral Bella?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Yes I do not own Twilight! Are you happy now? Get off my ass, I'm thirsty and you're on the menu! Affectionately, Bella and nails233 too.**

**Thanks Busymommy, Halloweenlover, and Dazzleglo whose hard work has kept me sane during my recent stress!**

**The Last Thing I Ever Wanted**

**Chapter 4**

**Bella's POV**

"GRRRR! You promised!" I snarled at Jasper for the third time in two minutes.

"Bella, I'm trying. You need to calm down," he sighed, evidently he's as frustrated as I was.

"Bella, why don't you come with me? I think I might know a place where you can find more of his scent." Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door.

"I'm not thirsty!" She released a deep breath.

"We're not going hunting?" I was confused.

The only time I'd been allowed to leave the house was when we were going hunting. If we weren't going hunting, then where was she leading me? I could feel my frustration rising as we made our way to the garage. It wasn't until she released my hand and opened the door to a silver Volvo did I understand.

Gulping in the scent that was wafting out, I couldn't stop my feet from moving into the car. His scent was old, but pristinely preserved in the leather seat. I curled into a ball and rubbed my cheek against it. Shutting the door, I locked myself in.

I've craved to smell him for the last month since I woke up in this new life, but I can't remember him. All I could remember from anyone was their scents. Alice showed me the pictures she'd taken over the two years I was with Edward; still I can't find them locked in my mind. It's infuriating and costly, since I would tend to shatter whatever furniture was nearby.

For the next month I only left the car when they came to force me to hunt. As soon as I returned, I immediately went back into the car.

The following month, I realized I couldn't stay locked in the car forever as his smell was starting to mix with mine. So I've tried, unsuccessfully, to go out and search for him. Every time I tried, they've been there to stop me.

Alice and Jasper had been with me every second, and that was pissing me off even more. The passion coursing through my veins in itself drove me crazy. I craved to be touched as much as I craved blood. They refused to fulfill those needs. Nowadays, when they try to kiss me, I refuse them.

Today should have meant something; it did to everyone, but me. If I didn't remember my fiancé, how was I supposed to remember what should have been my wedding day?

Last week, Alice tried to re-spark my memory by showing me the dress she had made for me. Nothing happened, yet again. It was so frustrating, I wanted to remember. I felt like the memories were there, but just out of my reach.

The wolf boy had been by several times in the hopes of gaining my attentions. His scent had me seeing red every time he moved too close. From time to time, he would bring a friend, making the house smell even worse.

~0~0~

Finally, I snapped, "What the hell! Why do we have to wait? I want him now!" I snarled, exposing my razor sharp teeth and snapping at the air.

"Bella, love, relax. Just a few more months…" Growling and snapping, I clarified my ever growing lack of patience.

"Because, Alice, that's what you said three months ago! You have no idea how hard it is not to remember! I need him. Now!" I screeched, whipping and smashing the bay window with the chair I'd been standing next to. Oops, my bad.

That was nothing new for me. Esme needed to replace walls and furniture on a daily basis. I didn't care, I needed his scent. Esme tried to explain it to me, but I didn't fully comprehend it until this moment. I finally understood why Edward had told the family, and apparently me, that he found my scent addicting to him. I was a strung out junkie and his scent had faded so much for it to soothe me anymore. I had gone far too long without any soothing that if I had to rip through them so be it, I wasn't waiting any longer.

Playing coy, he reached out with his hand, "Bella…" Emmett must have thought I was stupid to fall for his trick.

"Lay that meat hook on me, and you'll go through the door next!"

"Fine." My head snapped to my left to see Carlisle entering the room.

Crouching, I readied to pounce. "You're messing with me!"

"No, Bella, you're right. Edward needs to come home. Esme and I miss our son just as much as you miss his scent. We'll need to avoid heavy areas of population. I'll ask the Denali's to meet up with us, and help keep you from any humans that might stray your way."

My mind raced at the thought of leaving, "When?" I growled.

"Now, right after I make the call and confirm they're free to join us." We all froze and listened in as he called.

"Tanya, it's Carlisle, we're ready to search out Edward."

"_We'll meet you at the last place Alice and Jasper called me about where Edward's trail went cold."_ I snarled at her purring tone and use of his name.

"We'll leave now." He nodded to us to get ready.

Amazingly, we did leave five minutes later. Jasper and Emmett took the lead, while Rose and Alice flanked me, leaving Esme and Carlisle to follow us. It was our usual formation for hunting, with one major difference, I wasn't looking for food. The scent I needed remained out there somewhere, and I would find it no matter how long it took.

"Alice, are you seeing anything?" Jasper called from the front when we entered Canada.

"No, still just white," she huffed, her patience also worn paper thin.

Just then, I caught a sight out of the corner of my eye. "Alice, is he surrounded by white? Or is that what he's seeing?"

"Could be both. Wherever he is, Edward has decided to stay," she answered never slowing the pace at which we were running.

"I think I know what the vision is." Everyone came to a sudden halt.

"Do tell, darlin'," Jasper reached up and stroked my cheek.

"Snow. I think he's in the snow." I bent down, picking up a handful from the ground at my feet.

"Well, to be surrounded by that much snow at this time of year, he'd have to…" Carlisle's golden eyes danced with excitement.

"Son of a bitch! Sorry, Esme, not you." Esme just shook her head at Emmett.

"Antarctica. Okay, this makes it easier. The Denali's will be meeting up with us in a few minutes. Let's go." Carlisle shot off with new sense of determination and a happier expression dancing across his angelic features.

Right on schedule, we arrived at the destination just before five vampires I'd never met before. I couldn't contain my instant need to fight them off. Snarling and grinding my teeth, I warned them.

"Carlisle, do you need a leash for this one?" Tanya laughed.

"Listen up, wicked witch of the west, if you don't back the hell off, I will tear that head off by your blond ponytail," my snarls ripped from my chest.

"Well, aren't you a feisty little newborn. I'm not sure Edward will like the new you. After all, he wanted a human for a mate, not a vampire. If he wanted a vampire, he could've had me." She smirked.

"Tanya, mind your tongue. Bella was always and still is Edward's choice. Human or vampire, she's unequivocally his. You should know better than anyone. Once we give ourselves over to our inner animalistic ways, it's unstoppable, he'll claim her." Carlisle seethed at her and squeezed my shoulder, relaxing me from my crouched position.

Alice had shown me pictures and told me about the tramps from the north. Granted they were family, but Tanya wanted my fiancé. The fact that I didn't remember him didn't matter.

"Maybe not. He's had plenty of chances to take her and yet he hasn't. He left her to die instead of trying to save her. I think he might be rethinking his mating with her."

"Enough! Let's find Edward and let him choose his path." Jasper couldn't look at me as he said it.

We had talked about his fears of Edward coming home and not wanting him again. It weighed heavily on his mind. None of us knew what would happen once he returned.

Splitting up, we spread out to cover as much territory as we could and pushed on. Soon the terrain transformed into a winter wonderland. White stretched as far as we could see. I stopped and centered myself. Reaching deep into my senses, I let every one of them overload. I felt the slightest of tickles in my nose. It was just enough to give me a direction.

Alice and Jasper veered toward me when they saw I was hunting. "She can smell him!"

"Alice, are you sure? I don't smell him." Jasper shook his head.

"Yes. Follow it, Bella. You can do this, only you can do this. If he smells us or hears our thoughts, he'll run."

I pushed harder; I wanted to make sure I reached him before the wicked witch-bitch. With each light footstep across the packed snow the tingle grew. When they pulled back, I knew they'd started to catch his scent too. The venom was pumping through my veins at an anxious pace. With one shift of the wind, it hit me full blast, he was very close. Scanning the serene landscape, I saw it, a tattered gray sleeve sticking out of a snow mound.

As much as I wanted to charge up, I walked slowly instead. My stomach knotted when Tanya's words ran through my mind. Walking up, I kneeled at the arm and brushed the snow off. The fingers jerked at my touch. Taking them in mine, I held them and waited to see what he would do next. Nothing.

Keeping his hand in mine, I started brushing away more of the snow, revealing more of his shirt. I sighed when I reached his messy bronze mane. I remembered it from the pictures.

"Edward, you need to come home now," I sighed into his ear.

He scared the shit out of me when he leapt up growling at me. For a moment, I thought he was going to assault me, but then the blackness of his eyes dragged my attention to his hunger. I realized he hadn't eaten in months. His eyes were adorned by black circles and pitch black irises. He failed to recognize me. Had I changed that much in the transformation?

"You need to eat, come with me." Grabbing his hand again, I led him toward a den of grizzlies I'd caught the scent of on the way.

Cautiously, he allowed me to lead him on. Every time I'd peek up at him he wore a distant expression. Had he too, lost all the memories we'd built?

His head snapped forward and he slipped from my grasp. His instincts had kicked in and taken over. I knew better than to follow him. It would've been a fight for the meal, and I didn't want that. It was his meal. Sitting down in the snow, I waited while he went in and slaughtered the beasts. They tried to fight him off; their growling and snarling let me know that. In two minutes the four heartbeats ceased and it was over.

He was covered in blood when he finally exited the cave's mouth. He looked incredibly sexy, virile. All I could think about was licking the remains from his lips, and well, the rest of his body. He looked more delectable in person.

"Bella? How? Carlisle!" he raked his bloody hands through his hair exasperated, "He shouldn't have," he murmured causing my aggravation to rise.

They were wrong; he didn't want me after all. Unable to control myself, I hissed and snarled at him. He froze and raised his hands.

"Bella, I won't stop you from killing me, I deserve it. After what you saw, I knew I'd never be able to correct our relationship. You'll always hate me, I know that," he dropped to his knees in front of me, "take me. I can't live without you in my life," he howled.

Pacing around his surrendered form in circles, I tried to decipher what he was saying. He wanted me to take him, but in the killing sort of way. Well that didn't match what I wanted. He said I should because I saw him and Jasper, however, I didn't remember it. Finally, he said he couldn't live without me, but he also said Carlisle shouldn't have. He said I'd hate him, however, I didn't. I desired to be closer to him. I wasn't sure how to show him that I wanted him.

Dropping to my knees in front of him, I wrapped myself around him. My nostrils flared as I drank in his unadulterated scent that I needed above everything else. My mind flooded with flashes, but nothing was clear enough to hold onto. A tiny slide show of tender touches played out. He didn't move when I nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck. I purred as his scent rubbed onto my marble flesh.

"Bella," he groaned and turned his cheek into mine. When he sniffed the air around me, I knew what he smelled. My arousal had wafted his way. "I don't understand," he sneered.

I decided to help him out a little. The shredding of the front of his jeans provided the proper incite. He instantly hardened under my gaze. "It's beautiful," I sighed, feeling like I was attractive to him, then he had to go and ruin it.

"We can't, I can't." He dropped his head, refusing to look at me.

"Fuck you, Edward. You don't want me, fine, Alice and Jasper do. I was better off when I didn't know anything about you. To think I was stupid enough to believe them." Like a two year old throwing a tantrum, I shoved him on his back and left him lying there in the snow.

"What? What do you mean?" He jumped up snarling and growling.

"You heard me. I wish they'd never told me about you! At least they love and want me. You can have your precious Tanya," I lashed out, my feelings utterly crushed.

I'll be the first to admit, when he tackled me to the ground, it reignited my desire to have him, even if it was just once before he bedded the bitch. From the way he pressed his cock against my back, he was momentarily attracted to me again.

"You need me to prove that you're the one I want forever? The one I always wanted to be with me? And Jasper?" I purred, pushing back into him. "Did you think of me when you fucked them?"

Flipping me over, he tore my leggings off. "I was supposed to be your first, and you mine," he hissed in my ear.

"You fucked Jasper!" I snipped.

"No, I never did. This has always been marked for you first." To prove his point, he nudged himself between my knees. "He fucked me. Yes, I love him, but I love you more. It's no different from you and Jake."

Shaking my head, I retorted, "I don't remember Jake. I've spent the last three months only remembering your scent." I breathed it deeply into my lungs, savoring it.

"You don't remember anyone? What about your father?" he gasped.

"Just your smell." Against my wishes, my hips jerked up to greet him.

"Just me? And, you still want me?" His eyes blackened again and filled with a desire I'd never seen before.

"Yes," I whimpered, locked in his glare.

He snarled, locking our lips together. His flavor coated my lips. I moaned, licking it off. The tip of my tongue lapped at the blood on his lips. He opened up to me. It was just what I needed. His tongue slipped into my mouth and dominated it. From what I've been told, that was a first for us.

Alice and Jasper never kissed me with the urgency that Edward seemed to need. Theirs were always soft and tantalizing. Edward's kisses owned my soul. I entwined my fingers into his hair, tugging, whining for more.

A moan slipped past my lips when he ripped my shirt open, exposing me to his ogling eyes. "Mine forever, even when we share, you belong to me." Without a word, he slammed into my depths.

"Fuck!" I screeched from the pain.

He froze, adjusting to being inside me. Thank God for that. The burning hurt more than I expected. Grabbing my hips, he shifted a few times before sliding back then pushing forward. My walls adjusted to his size by the fourth thrust. The venom started flowing to lubricate him and the burning faded away.

"You're mine…so tight…um…so good. Next time you fuck Jasper, I'll be there, but you'll still be mine. Say it!" He pumped harder.

"Yes, I belong to you," I groaned.

It wasn't his fault that the inner beast took over. It was in his nature to dominate me at the risk of another wanting to invade his territory, just as it was in my nature to let him take me. We were both beyond forming coherent speech. Guttural groans, snarling demands, and possessive snarls were the only sounds to leave our lips when they weren't preoccupied by shoving our tongues deeply into each other mouths.

A new coiling formed in my stomach, tightening further with each of his possessive grunts. I tugged harder on his hair, pulling his face into my neck. Starting under my ear, he licked and sucked his way down to my heaving chest. Each of my pants pushed my breasts into his face. When he latched on I mewled. I shivered when he drew the pebbled nipple into his mouth and lavished it with attention.

My hips no longer need direction from me as they automatically sought out to meet his. Deep within my soul, I wanted him to own me, the way all the Cullen men owned their wives. Even though I'd started to love Jasper and Alice in a sexual way, Edward's scent bound me to him. His needs would always come first.

"That's right. You know I own you, don't you?" His face contorted in a mixture of pleasure and desperation.

"Yes, but I own you, too," I moaned.

Leaning back, he flipped my legs over his shoulders, pounding harder than before. His hands gripped my hips and continued their assault on my tender womanhood. I was on the edge needing one more thing to push me into the first climax of my life. It didn't come until he slammed in, freezing as his venom shot inside me.

"Now, you know why I couldn't have you as a human! I would have broken you!" His hips continued to beat against mine.

Without warning, I thrashed and shuddered when his venom triggered the massive explosion in my depths. That's what I needed, his venom coating my walls and claiming them as his.

"I should've been your first," he moaned, falling against me.

"You were," I hummed, drinking in his scent while his warming semen spread through me further.

He regained his calmer side, but my words hit home, "Bella! You…never…? I'm so sorry! I thought…Jasper?"

Instantly, it dawned on me, "They saved me for you," I whimpered, stroking his cheek with my fingertips.

"I never wanted your first time to be a claiming. I wanted to make love to you first."

"There's plenty of time for that when we get home. You may have claimed me, but we need to figure out how this whole me, you, Jasper, and Alice thing is going to work."

Rolling over, he snuggled me into his side. "I always hoped you would, with time, accept Jasper. Alice wanted to be with us, I knew that. It scared me that you wouldn't want us. I love you, I won't lose you ever again, even if I have to give him up, I would for you."

"I love them, too. They have kept me sane throughout with my not knowing anything, trying to invoke my memories with photos and stories. I always knew I needed and loved you, even though I couldn't find the memories, I knew I belonged with you. I love you, too."

"Alice and Jasper are coming. They have clothes for us."

Suddenly the switch flipped again, and he hovered over me, growling out his warning toward the incoming visitors.

"Edward, stand down. I have no intention of claiming her as my own. You know we do that only once in our lives, and I've claimed Alice. We'll work it out, but for now, get dressed before Tanya arrives and Bella has to kill her for wanting to take you." Jasper was right; I wouldn't be able to stop myself.

Cautiously, he brought us both to our feet while still keeping me hidden behind him. Not waiting for me, he shoved my clothes on first, then his own, and not a moment too soon. The rest of the family started converging upon us.

"Son, welcome back. I know you're not happy, but I couldn't lose you both. I had to save her which meant you in the process." Edward just nodded securing me around the waist, flush against his body.

"Edward, my dear, you look terrible. I've missed you. Let's head home and find you a good hot meal." Esme smiled, reaching out to hug both of us. I could feel the love emanating off her which was interestingly comforting.

**A/N sorry for the delay, I had a bad case of the writing blues. Anyways, it took a while to get through them. With my first published book out of the way, Mocked by Destiny was released last month at The Writers Coffee Shop Publishing House website. I am now working on Mocked by Faith. So don't hate me for taking a needed break, it will hopefully not happen again. Please leave some love in the box, reviews are a wonderful thing.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: blah, blah, blah, i don't own Twilight, because if i did, i wouldn't twist the characters until they were unrecognizable. **

**Thanks Dazzle for the once over, love ya lady! Busymommy hasn't had her last peek over so once she does, i'll update this. and of course thanks Holloweenlover, for prereading, heart you hard.**

**The Last Thing I Wanted**

_Bella's re-cap_

_Suddenly the switch flipped again, and he hovered over me, growling out his warning toward the incoming visitors._

"_Edward, stand down. I have no intention of claiming her as my own. You know we do that only once in our lives, and I've claimed Alice. We'll work it out, but for now, get dressed before Tanya arrives and Bella has to kill her for wanting to take you." Jasper was right; I wouldn't be able to stop myself._

_Cautiously, he brought us both to our feet while still keeping me hidden behind him. Not waiting for me, he shoved my clothes on first, then his own, and not a moment too soon. The rest of the family started converging upon us._

"_Son, welcome back. I know you're not happy, but I couldn't lose you both. I had to save her which meant you in the process." Edward just nodded securing me around the waist, flush against his body. _

"_Edward, my dear, you look terrible. I've missed you. Let's head home and find you a good hot meal." _

**Chapter 5**

**Edward's POV**

We split off from the rest of the family on the run home. We needed some alone time to discuss what was going to happen once we got back to the house. I knew what they were hoping for by their thoughts, but no one else did. That, of course, excluded Bella. I still couldn't hear her thoughts.

"Esme, I promise to see you soon. We need to sort this out." I knew from her thoughts, it disappointed her that we wouldn't be joining them, but she nodded and followed the group away.

When Bella found me, the confusion from going for so many months without blood made me nearly insane. The only thing that registered in my brain was her scent. In her transformation, she'd changed so much. She barely looked like the girl I remembered. Not that it mattered to me what she looked like, her scent made her my Bella, just less breakable.

Jasper unfortunately had to live with my guilt along with me. When I pinned Bella to the ground and claimed her, I thought she'd already been with Jasper and Alice. It cut me deeper when she admitted I was her first. It should have been a loving and gentle experience; however my inner animal needed to be satisfied, to claim and to have her declare that she was ours above all others first and foremost.

The beast tamed a bit thriving in the fact he or we'd been Bella's first, until Alice tackled Bella to the ground. The urge to rip her head off had me snarling and growling our displeasure of someone touching her. As I flinched a single muscle toward them, that's when Jasper leapt on my back pinning me to the ground.

Pulling my head back by my hair, he demanded my attention. "Just watch. They're not fighting."

I looked back, groaning at the sight set out before me. Alice had flipped Bella over. She lay nestled between Bella's legs palming her perfect, perky breasts. "Alice," in a whispered breath slipped from Bella's rosy pout as she raked her hands through Alice's hair, while pulling her flush against her creamy flesh.

My hips shifted under Jasper, grinding my rock hard rod against the ground. "That's a pretty sight, isn't it? I've been waiting for months to see them let go, but we had to wait until we were together. You had to take her first." His throbbing cock pressed against my ass. "We saved her for you. We would never deny you that right; you waited too long for your mate to come along."

"Thank you," I croaked, feeling his lust rolling off him.

"Do you think she likes the way Alice is sucking, licking, and nibbling on her nipple right now?" His whisper against my ear sent a shiver through my body.

I licked my lips wanting a taste of them, too. Alice growled enjoying her treat.

**Jasper's POV**

In a surprise move, he switched our positions, putting him on top of me. Shoving my shirt up, Edward mimicked Alice's attention to Bella on me. I hissed when he took one long lap across my nipple. At the same time, I arched my back and tugged his unruly hair pulling him closer. My nostrils flared at the sensuous scent of bear's blood in his hair.

I've waited fifty years for this moment. When Alice said she wanted to join us and bring in Bella, I admit, I wasn't sure how I'd feel about seeing her with Bella or Edward. Although, I got over it real quick the first time I saw them messing around with each other. Now I wanted to see it happen, the wait was killing me.

"Edward, please? I want to watch, too," I moaned, distracted for the moment by his tongue flickering my pebbled nipple.

A second later, he had me flipped onto my stomach with my pants at my knees. For a human it would have hurt the way I was roughly handled, but for me it was a fucking turn on. Damn, what a view! Alice had moved down Bella's body and had her face planted between those creamy thighs I've fantasized about. Soon I'd have my chance.

"Fuck!" I moaned when Edward's long, pretty finger pushed into my ass.

Nibbling on my neck, he panted, "No more waiting. I've claimed my mate, now I'm going to claim you, too." His hand never left me as he slid his jeans down.

"I think I can handle that," I breathed raspy at the sensation of his pumping me harder.

Another one of his fingers slipped into my depths, but I was distracted again by our ladies. "Oh, God, Alice!" Bella withered on the ground while Alice lapped up everything she gave her.

A whimper slipped out when Edward pulled his fingers away, only to be replaced with a purr when I felt his tip as he lined his steel shaft up with my entrance. Looking over my shoulder, his eyes were black as night and locked on Bella. Changing my view, I discovered Bella had her stare trained on us. Alice, too, watched us with bated breath.

They knew I'd been waiting for Edward to take me as his, too. Bella whined and whimpered. Alice had an arm wrapped around Bella's shoulder while cooing soothing words trying to calm the jealousy racing through her. We had time to adjust; Bella had just been claimed an hour ago so for her it was harder to see her mate taking another.

"Bella, you're still mine just as Alice is now yours, too," Edward's growl calmed her insecurities.

When Edward nudged in, their lusts amplified, sending mine through the roof. I snarled, but not from pain, from the feeling of him finally filling me with his cock.

"You feel so good inside me!" I gasped.

"Promise to never share this with anyone, but me!" his beast growled.

"Yes!" my animal responded, knowing I wouldn't.

"This was worth the wait. So tight…" He rocked his hips before pulling back slightly.

"Yes, Alice," he grunted to her unasked question.

She stroked Bella's cheek. "Come with me. Jasper and Edward want the four of us together."

Bella bit her lip, but followed Alice to our sides. I was hard and ready for whatever came next. Together they removed Alice's clothes. My hand moved to my throbbing erection.

Alice guided Bella to lie in front of me. Edward snarled, snapping at the air between us. The sight of his mate laid out for me had his dominance and jealousy flaring. She settled him down with four words.

"I love you, Edward."

"You're still mine! First! Never forget that!"

"I won't, never, but I love them, too," she purred.

"Me, too," he moaned, grabbing my hips harder.

That was the first time he admitted it, my heart swelled. I knew how he felt, but to have it fall from lips…wow.

"I love ya'll, too!" I panted, grabbing Bella and sliding her under me.

Edward pumped into me harder, then suddenly stopped while buried deep within my walls. Guiding my tip to her moist core, I waited for Edward's lead. The thrusting of his hips against me pushed my manhood into Bella.

Throwing my head back against Edward's chest, I grunted, "Oh God!"

The sensations of being connected to both of them at the same time nearly overwhelmed me. However, that paled in comparison to when Bella reached out for Alice to join her. Alice lowered herself onto Bella's awaiting mouth. Alice then began to play with her breasts, roughly palming and pulling on her nipples just as I would have.

It was hard to figure out where I should be concentrating. Each thrust from Edward pushed me closer to my climax as mine drove Bella wild. Alice rocked, moaning to Bella about how good it felt to be with us as one. There were no truer sentiments.

I shivered when Edward ran his nose up my throat. Pausing at the crook of my neck, he hissed and sunk his teeth in. That was the end of my control and I exploded deep into Bella's depths. Bella screamed out with her face still buried between Alice's thighs.

Releasing his bite, he growled, "Mine!" as he convulsed against me.

I reached up and gripped his hair in my fingers. "We're all yours." That squelched his beast's jealousy.

Alice withered and collapsed against me. When Edward pulled out I did the same taking Alice into my arms. Her feelings of acceptance and happiness settled my nerves, since I was worried that she might not like it once we tried it. Her love for me shined through. Grabbing her, I rolled out from between Bella and Edward leaving them to reconnect.

"Mine, mine, mine," Edward rambled, inserting his re-hardened erection into Bella.

Bella purred in delight to having him claiming her again. I didn't have to worry about how she felt about us. She loved us all. And, just as I loved Alice more than anyone, she loved Edward above us, too, as it should be. My savage beast would never tolerate Alice loving someone more than me and vice-versa.

I pulled Alice against my chest and lovingly kissed her on the lips, declaring, "I love you first, always."

"I love you too, you're mine first as I'm yours." The look in her eyes told me everything that I ever needed to know, she loved me beyond all reason.

**A/N So, the gang's all together now, so will happen when they get home? Review and tell me your thoughts, I'm not Edward after all.**

**Sorry for the delay. RL writing has been a bit crazy and Mocked by Destiny has been doing really well. I have finished writing Mocked by Faith and it's going on presale in July 24th. Currently I am writing Mocked by Faith Book 2 - Healing the Faith for a December release. You can find my publishing links on my profile.**

**Also I have started posting a new original romance, Loving on the Bayou in TWCS, check it out and let me know how you like a Bayou cane worker and the boss' daughter.**


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